Single On Purpose: Redefine Everything. Find Yourself First.

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What I like most about Kim's message in this book is to change what we control in the face of singlehood (or relationships) and that is ourselves. We need to stop hoping for these past traumas, voids and holes in our selves to be filled or patched up by the company of others and find ways to fill them by ourself for ourself. He had a "Daily Mantra" for each days lesson but mantras are usually made to be sayings that you repeat over and over again to have positive beliefs.

Again, I gave it 2 stars, not 1. I do think there is value in here for you if you've never done work on your relationship with yourself and or you have had issues in your relationships.

Sped through this one and thoroughly enjoyed listening on Audible. Also believe this is applicable for those already in relationships, like I am, or in any walk in life. Since I’m already a follower of John’s podcasts, it was comforting to hear him read through this self help book and enlightening to hear more nuggets of his personal journey & life lessons that he wove into this book. Very humanizing and enjoyed his vulnerability and openness. Few takeaways:

After a painful divorce, “The Angry Therapist” John Kim realized he had never truly been on his own. He went on a journey to rebuild his relationship with himself, going from alone and disconnected to alone and fulfilled. Prior, I haven't put much thought into being "single," I used to believe it didn't mean anything. This book will educate you that there is so much more to it.No-bullsh*t ways to confront your past—what you've settled for before and what you're changing today This book gives you the confidence to rediscover your identity and start building a life that is yours. It helps you think about who you were before the pressures of society, your family and your partner came in and told you how to be. It zooms out of the sce

So what does that look like to make it about you? Here are three things I did after my divorce that repositioned me and allowed me to become a better version of myself.I think there are nuggets in here like don't tie your self worth to being in a relationship. But pretty much after that it reads like fix these things to be in a relationship albeit more healthy relationship. Having sex, go explore every crayon What. A book that doesn't focus on friendships, building community, or concrete ways to be comfortably being single seems like a missed opportunity. Essentially section 2-4 was all about f**king. I get it, I think sex is super important but this book was nothing more than a very weird reflection of bad relationships, bad sex, toxicity, do drugs, and exercise. I wonder if I'm the wrong demographic bc cross fit was lost on me and brought up a lot. With that being said words like grieving, trauma, and self worth were used but I would not recommend most of the advice. This book is not about being single. This book is about what to do while you're single to get in a relationship. It's not the same. Singlesness is a valuable time period and relationships can be healthy but not a priority. Also can we talk about how asexuality completely missed. I hate it. I started this book thinking that it was a celebration of being single and that it would talk about societal pressures to be in a relationship. I thought (and hoped) it would explore the joys of being on your own and how you can be a complete and happy person without being tied to someone else. I was wrong. Sean Cardinalli is a coach, writer, and activist who returned to coaching on sex & love addiction at the outset of the pandemic after a 4-year hiatus. His coaching style tends toward a 12 Step recovery perspective which saved his life and livelihood 14 years ago. Sean earned his local certificate through Linda Bark’s holistic coaching methodology and is pursuing his ICF certification and a degree in social work. Beyond sex & love addiction, Sean’s practice focuses on intimacy, relationships, divorce, dating, and the creative process. Journal questions that don't feel like "journaling, " focusing on brief, direct, and honest answers to help you know yourself Healthy used to mean going to the gym for a couple hours and lifting weights. Today, healthy means so much more to me. Healthy means a good balanced diet. But being okay with a donut once in a while. Healthy means therapy to process shit. Healthy means quality time with friends. Healthy means cheat days. Healthy means cutting negative people out of my life. Surrounding myself with people who accept me and champion my story. Healthy means connecting, accepting, and loving my body. But to also practice discipline and push my body further than I think I can. Healthy means to sweat daily. Healthy means great sex that makes my blood flow and my heart race. Healthy means to stretch. Health means to distance myself from the thoughts that drain me and throw me into yesterday. Healthy means to stop future trippin’. Healthy means giving myself what I need. Allowing myself to feel. Healthy means being kind to myself. Healthy means drawing boundaries. Healthy means feeding my brain. Constantly. Healthy means practicing kindness, forgiveness, and gratitude. Healthy means meditation. Healthy means to get outside and feel the sun on my face. Sand on my toes. Healthy means a gas tank in between my legs. Healthy means naps. Healthy means self-care. Healthy is a lifestyle.